Thursday, November 15, 2012

Bottom of the Bottle

Bottom of the Bottle

from The Mick

It’s your old pal The Mick back again. While waiting on the results of a culture, a REAL important culture I’ve come to realize I am a very angry person. What if this bacterial experiment I’m growing in my body is fatal? My adult life has been spent trying to avoid contributing to the creation of Cap’n Tripps and it might be my undoing. Of course, on the other side of the coin, since I run from antibiotics like a Scientologist from reason, the pills could work better. In all reality, it’s probably just a run of the mill staph infection and I get to enjoy twenty days of constipation. Yay!

Speaking of painful stool, what the f@#k is the world’s obsession with Kristin Stewart? She looks, sounds, and acts like every West Side crack whore I’ve ever met. Yes, I have met a LOT of crack whores. No, that’s not where the infection came from. But, I digress, everyone seems to love this greasy haired, dead eyed, emotion free skank that evokes less feelings than Wilson. WILSON!!!!!!! I tried to find some other movies she was in and the only one I had seen was Jumper and I don’t remember her. So in a forgettable movie she got lost. Even Samuel L. Jackson sucked in that film.

Okay, I had an idea for an entertainment related second issue, but television has changed that. The Civil War was not about slavery per se. If you want to throw a blanket term over the whole affair, it would be taxation. It was voted on, by the congress that a slave would count as three fifths of a person for representation. So your Yankee superiority is shot out of the water right there. In fact, they were contemplating ending slavery in the beginning of the nation, but, decided it wasn’t the time. So, you have slavery going on for almost a hundred years because they hadn’t gotten around to ending it yet and while we have them they won’t count as a full person. The last straw was that slaves were taxed as a full person, and land taxes were raised, cotton taxes were raised along with salt. Imagine that, taxation without proper representation started a war. Strange, I know.

Man I wish I could remember what I was going to write about. It would’ve tied in with an infection and Kristin Stewart. I know it’s not a far jump; the magic would be in the third subject. But, no. I lost the thought thanks to The History Channel spewing out crap. It’s similar to the crap coming from my wound and Kristin Steward’s acting ability.

Holy s#!t, I did it!

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