Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Episode #9

On a very special Halloween episode, Jeff and Darren break down the weekend in both college and pro football, explore superstition in sports in The Narrative, talk about scary movies with The Mick and are joined by Dustin Copening of DFWFanconnection.com for a preview of the upcoming NBA season and the Dallas Mavericks.

I. NFL Recaps

II. The Narrative - Superstition in sports

III. College Football Round Up

IV. Entertainment Enema w/ The Mick

V. The Sports Landscape - NBA Preview w/ Dustin Copening

VI. Terrible NFL Picks

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/mf/web/7cb3x/Halloween.mp3

(Editor's Note: apparently Halloween ran off with the last 45 minutes of my show! So look for revised NBA preview in a very special bonus Sports Narrative this week. Sorry for the inconvience)

Friday, October 26, 2012

An Angry Mavs Fan's Rant

By Darran Boyd

 
Dear Mavs Fans,
 
Another season is upon us. And just where do we stand?
 
After dreaming for a year and a half about D-Will and Dwight Howard joining the Mavs that bubble burst quickly. We wanted to shop with the Nieman Marcus Xmas Catalog fantasy gifts section but quickly realized we had to shop at Marshall's instead during Free Agency. I don't blame Mark Cuban for not going to visit D Will during the recruiting process. Cuban was filming a TV show I've never heard of or watched called "The Shark Tank". Mr. Cuban knew all along that D Will would not leave the extra 26 Million on the table that the Nets could offer vs what the Mavs could offer with the ridiculous NBA Bird rights. And Howard seemed destined for LA all along, not counting the fact that the Mavs had exactly ZERO assets to fascilitate a trade. So, lets look at our Marshall's shopping additions from Free Agency.
 
Chris Kaman, Darren Collison, O.J. Mayo and Elton Brand. Wow! that blows my skirt up!! The Mavs are wasting the twilight of Dirk's career by bringing in these 1 year rent-a-player losers. Kaman will be injured 30 games out of the year. Brand is a declining player the last 5 years, Mayo is young but can't shoot and hit the broad side of a barn 5 ft away and Dirk is getting older with a bad knee.
 
Breaking news... players dont get healthy or better with age!
 
Yes I'm bitter. Mavs fan were sold a bill of goods called "Keep the Powder Dry." And that's just crap! Does any fan think Chris Paul will be coming here next year? Hell no!! All of this cap room will be wasted again. The latest theory the Mavs have tried to sell us on is that teams over the Salary Cap will just dump star players and the Mavs will swoop in with the cap space they have. Really? The Bulls will dump D Rose?? I don't think so. They'll dump lesser players like Deng or Boozer and the Mavs will be the Toronto freakin Raptors.
 
I am excited to start the season. I'm just anticipating another finish 7th place and being one & done in the playoffs again. I just don't see a bright spot in the future with this franchise. But I will give the Mavs braintrust, Mr. Cuban & Mr. Nelson, the benefit of the doubt and grant them one more year to hopefully prove me, and the rest of the NBA, wrong. And I will watch every game and ride or die with the Mavericks til the end. But just as with the Jerry and the Cowboys and the entire election process, people can only take so much bullsh*t until they tune out and stop caring. And I'm afraid my limit is fast approaching!
 
Sincerly
 
Frustrated Fan

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Bottom of the Bottle

Bottom of the Bottle

from The Mick



Ok I’m here with a correction from the podcast. The Chloe something something chick was an assassin with Ghost Rider not Hulk. Yes it’s the chick from Kick-Ass. Also, I’m going to give you a preview of next week’s Enema simply because I’m so excited about this I’m in full blown nerd-gasm!

The new Star Trek movie has been officially named. Star Trek Into Darkness will be released May 17, 2013. So now the real question, which is better Star Trek or Star Wars? This argument has driven nerds into slap fights since the late 1970’s and I’m hoping will get some comments going because I want to know what you think. To start things off I’ll present an argument for each side.

Let’s start with Star Trek. It is argued that Star Trek is the most influential series to science in history. Flip phones, Bluetooth, the Ipad have all been inspired by Star Trek, at least according Brent Spiner. Matter teleportation and transfiguration have been tested and Star Trek was directly credited. Also, the product seems to be endless gold. It has been successfully rebooted and presents the ability to produce dozens of wonderful films. Which seems to be a part of the magic, you can reboot and recast two (I say three) series and make awesome films. Even if you have a bad film (i.e. Star Trek: The Motion Picture) you can make another and all is forgiven. That is truly the beautiful thing about Star Trek and its fans. The utopian good will and tolerance that Gene Rodenberry envisioned for the future has embedded itself in its fans, unless you mention Star Wars.

Cue the ominous music; we are headed to the dark side. Now here is the biggest problem with Star Wars and the answer may surprise you. It’s not George Lucas (no matter how hard he tries) and it’s not the hardcore fans believe it or not. No, it’s the casual movie goers. There is an animated series that is entering its fifth season, half a dozen awesome video games, and about a million books. That tells me that if you dig the Star Wars universe Darth Vader is not a required character for a film. So has the franchise offered any plausible ideas for science? No, but it has inspired a religion. I’m serious! The Church of Jedi is real! This brings me to the beauty of Star Wars, its fantasy. Pure, unadulterated fantasy that was created for your enjoyment and Han shot first.

So there you are, my friends. Let the most interesting debates for the past couple of months begin.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Episode #8

On a fun and action-packed show, Jeff and Darren discuss week 7 in the NFL, bring on special guest Dustin Copening from DFWFanConnection.com to preview the World Series, talk with The Mick in the Entertainment Enema, recap the weekend in college football, stare blankly into The Sports Landscape and then make some Truly Awful Picks. Won't you join us?

I. NFL Recaps

II. The Narrative - Live interview with Dustin Copening

III. Entertainment Enema featuring The Mick

IV. College Football Round Up

V. The Sports Landscape

VI. Truly Awful Picks

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/mf/web/hrypc/Episode8.mp3

Monday, October 22, 2012

Bottom of the Bottle by The Mick


Welcome back faithful reader. Your ol’ pal The Mick is back with the funny ha-ha. Here are a couple of quick shots. Let’s double fist some bulls#!t that’s bugging me.

As I’m sure you know I’ve been hitting the gym lately. Also as you know I smoke. So before and after the gym I enjoy a cigarette and get the most incredible stares. I might as well dismember and eat a baby red panda in front of PETA. It’s not just the juicers either; it’s the last chancers too. Now to clarify the juicers are those overly tense, overly vascular, no neck guys that accomplish more with a needle than actually weights. The last chancers are the people that must be in the gym and on a strict diet plan to see the next decade. The funny bit is that it’s mainly these two extremes that give me the looks. I never imagined cliques in a gym, but, I’ll be damned here they are standing out and judging as if in high school. To me if you go to the gym then you’re in a clique and if you don’t go to the gym then you’re not in it and everyone is welcome.

The second shot is my damn writers block. If I don’t have my ancient laptop in front of me I’m brilliant and articulate. Once I turn the crank and get this thing cooking (literally sometimes) I got nothing. The ideas stop flowing like a clogged artery and I start looking at pictures of kittens. Perhaps it’s my ADD, perhaps it’s my s*!t hole day job, or maybe I’ve psyched myself out. The last blog I wrote brought an emotional response from the two people that read it and that’s the whole point of writing. Well I did it and now I’m stuck. I think I’ll just blame the awesome pain meds I’m on and the worst possible company anyone could ever work for.

I wasn’t planning on bitching about this but I’m high so f@%k it. I hate where I work during the day. I dig what I do but the jackasses I work for can burn in Hell. The company treats its customers and employees like absolute crap. They put out ads and promos but don’t tell employees or change the computer to take the discounts nor do they tell customers about the conditions to the sales. I hate it and everyday is a struggle to go there.

Ok I feel better.
 
The Mick

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Week Seven Stink Rankings


Week Seven Stink Rankings

by Tim the Dis-Enchanter

 

 

1.) Giants á6 – It’s a good thing the Bills fired Defensive Coordinator Perry Fewell. The Giants Defense clearly sucks, and the Bills Defense is AWESOME now with Dave Wannstedt!

 

2.) Packers á9  –That was quite a beat-down you gave the Texans. Aaron Rodgers is still a raging douche bag. Raging.

 

3.) Bears á1 –Cu*tler and company move up by default.

 

4.) Broncos á8 –Peyton Manning is an idiot-savant. On the one hand he is a brain dead moron who embodies ignorance, while on the other hand he is really, really good at making sh*tty commercials. Weird.

 

5.) Ravens  á3 – Ray Lewis stabbed two people to death. The season-ending triceps injury should be the least of his worries. Hey Ray, did you ever find that white suit you were wearing the night of the murders? You know, the one that has never been found? What an odd item to lose.

 

6.) Falcons â3  I don’t care what your record is – you have only beaten garbage teams. “Matty Yikes” isn’t good enough to get the Falcons to the Superbowl. November is right around the corner.

 

7.) 69ers  â6 - Alex Smith is terrible. Replace him and you’re poised for a Superbowl dynasty in San Francisco. Keep him and you’re poised for a QB controversy meltdown – just like a certain team whose name I will NOT mention from Buffalo.    

 

8.) Texans â6  – Ahhhh, now this is the Houston team I remember. I hope you enjoyed the top spot while the real teams got warmed up.

 

9.) Seahawks á6 – I was TICKLED watching you whip the Pukeriots. If the Pukeriots miss the playoffs, then there is a god. I still won’t believe in him or acknowledge him in any way though.

 

10.) Redskins á14 OK, you have a really good quarterback. The only question that remains is whether or not there is insufficient film for opposing Defenses. Beyond that, RGIII is the real deal.

 

11.) Patriots â6 – BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Who would have thought the Pukeriots would be 3 – 3. The sun is setting on this dynasty. It tickles me to watch it slowly collapse.

 

12.) Cowboys á5 – I was impressed with the game plan – lots of running and not trusting Romo to throw. The Cowboys should have won this game. They still suck, but somehow stay competitive. 

 

13.) Dolphins á1 – The Dolphins are actually a decent team. Who do you think is a dumber thug though? Dan Marino or Peyton Manning? Here’s a TV commercial for you: Peyton and Dan in separate bathtubs holding hands in a new Viagra spot. Thanks Papa.

 

14.) Steelers â8 –Use Polamalu, it softens your defense while you do the business. You’re sulking in it now. 

 

15.) Vikings â2 – Thanks for making me look like a jackass after I told everyone how you were going to “spank” the Redskins. I even used excessive inflection on the word ‘spank’ when I said it. Thanks a**holes.

 

16.) Eagles â7 Way to blow it in the 4th Quarter against the Lions. What are you, Buffalo now?      

 

17.) Jets á4  – Hi-diddly-ho Tee-berino! Here’s a commandment: Thou shalt not suck!

 

18.) Lions â2 –Donkey Kong Sue.

 

19.) Cardinals â9 – Kolb is recovering in Intensive Care after another ass-beating. Let’s all keep him in our thoughts and prayers.

 

20.) Rams á2 – A loss to the Dolphins is a testament to the wily Phins, not an indication of the Rams being bad. Good game. Tough loss. 

 
 

21.) Bengals â3  –You got beat by the Browns. The bottom can’t be much further.

 

22.) Panthers â3   – Who cares. 

 

23.) Saints NC – The Saints should cut Brees now before things get any worse. Logically, he would then best be featured in the Bills Offensive attack. 

 

24.) Chargers â4 – Does anyone else see the connection between the Chargers and Bills? Buddy Nix has been the GM of both teams. I wonder where Buddy will land after the Bills fire him? Wal-Mart Greeter?


 

25.) Browns NC Cleveland: The only city in America that Buffalonians can make fun of. I wonder if restaurants in Cleveland charge for fountain soda refills too? 

 

26.) Chiefs NC Yaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwn……….

 

27.) Buccaneers NC – Ever since seeing those “creamsicle” uniforms in the 70’s with that ridiculous knife-in-the-teeth logo of Peter Pan, I like to refer to the Buccaneers as “the gay pirates”. Arrrrr Matey.

 

28.) Colts NC – Luck sucks, you talentless… uh, team.

 

29.) Bills á3 – After staying at a 4-star luxury hotel following that pathetic performance in San Francisco, the Bills needed a gritty overtime road-win before returning to Buffalo in order to avoid a drunken angry mob rioting at the next home game. – Wait, that happens regardless at Bills home games.

 

30.) Titans â1 – Way to embarrass the Steelers on Thursday night football. It’s great to do that when the game is aired on the NFL Network, so that there are only 9 people able to watch.

 

31.) Raiders â1   You damn near beat Atlanta. Almost beating a team is like almost getting laid, though. Sorry, you get no credit.  

 

32.) Jaguars â1   The team’s logo should be changed from the snarling jaguar to a jaguar stole over some rich woman’s shoulder.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Episode #7

In an abbreviated show this week, Jeff recaps the NFL and college football weekends as well as the standings in the MLB playoffs as he returns from his wedding and departs for the honeymoon.


I. NFL Recaps

II. College Football

III. Baseball and the Sports Landscape

IV. NFL Picks

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/2012/10/15/episode7/

Week Six Stink Rankings


Week Six Stink Rankings
Another inappropriate entry from Tim the Dis-Enchanter
 

 


1.) 69ers á2  The Bills made them look electrifying. They aren’t quite that good, but nobody is better than the 69ers right now. 

 

2.) Texans â1  – The offense was clearly running out of gas by the 4th quarter. The Texans should have mauled the Jets by 3 touchdowns. Instead, they snuck out of New Jersey with an unconvincing win.

 

3.) Falcons â1  – Number 3 is still too high for “Matty Yikes” and company, but the Bears aren’t there yet, and I hate the Patriots, so welcome to number 3.

 

4.) Bears á7 –Cu*tler.

 

5.) Patriots á2 –First, your douchbag fans all talk like Cliff Clavin. Second, signing all of those wee, little people like Welker, Edelman, and Danny Dickhead was a nice niche to counter slow NFL Linebackers, but it won’t get you to the Superbowl this year.    

 

6.) Steelers á4 – The Steelers hounded Vick all day. Palmolive injured himself for no apparent reason and “Dirty Harrison” was a non-factor, yet Rapistberger and company pulled out a big win at home. 

 

7.) Giants â3 – If the game was over after 2quarters, the Browns would have whipped your asses. Brandon Weedon looked like a sibling of Eli – (a much older and less douchey sibling, presumably with a personality).

 

8.) Ravens  â2 – The Ravens are like a fart in a bathtub. Oddly Intriguing with an unpleasant, yet predictable surprise in the end. A 9 – 6 victory over the Chefs didn’t sell me on this team. 

 

9.) Eagles â1 YO! You can’t win a ballgame when you turn the ball over three dozen times. Ku Ku Kachoo, Andy Reid.    

 

10.) Cardinals â5 – They are still washing Kolb’s blood and piss out of the turf in St. Louis. Fortunately, the Cardinals colors include red and yellow.

 

11.) Packers â2 – The Packers took a dive in order to fulfill the NFL’s desire for a “feel good” game. Just like when the NFL decided that New Orleans would win the Superbowl after Hurricane Katrina. I have lined the inside of my baseball cap with aluminum foil. RON PAUL 2012.

 

12.) Broncos NC – Thanks Papa. Peyton, don’t you have a Sarah Palin rally to attend?

 

13.) Vikings á5 –Somebody’s on a little winning streak under the radar. We’ll see how they fare when they play a real team.

 

14.) Dolphins á5 –Miami is getting better and will humiliate the soon-to-be Los Angeles Bills twice this year (again).

 

15.) Seahawks â2 – Who did you play this week? I forgot already.

 

16.) Lions â2 – If the Lions lose their next Game, Donkey Kong Sue, or whatever his name is, will assault someone and get ejected again.

 

17.) Cowboys â2  – The Cowgirls rest up on a bye week and don’t add a loss to their record. They still drop 2 places because of Romo…

 

18.) Bengals â2  –Your stock is falling. No one’s jaw is on the floor. 

 

19.) Panthers â2   – Cam Newton stinking it up again. That’s what you get for those asinine “Superman” celebrations, jerk. 

 

20.) Chargers NC – Gee, what a coincidence that the Saints played the Chargers (the team that cut Drew Brees) on the evening that Brees was due to break the record of Johnny Unitas. The NFL is starting to look like the WWF. Give me a break.

 

21.) Jets á1  –Dirty Sanchez and Ned Flanders kept the Jests in the game against the Texans (surprisingly). Flanders will continue to see more playing time in the fu-diddly-uture.

 

22.) Rams á3 – Way to roast the Cardinals. Jeff Fisher is making progress with this team. Look for some big leaps forward next year.

 

23.) Saints á3 – Way to go Brees! Stay classy Terry Bradshaw, you washed up bald old asshole.

 

24.) Redskins â3 - RG3 took a righteous beating and sustained a concussion this week. Hopefully he won’t forget how bad his Offensive line sucks. I expect to see him playing a bit more conservatively in the future.

 

25.) Browns á4 - Believeland! Hells yeah bi-otch.

 

26.) Chiefs  â3 - Looks like a change at QB helped the Chefs this week. Too bad the fans had to cheer when Cassel was carted off the field with a brain injury. Grow up; you’re not in Philadelphia.

 

27.) Buccaneers â3 -  What’s a Buccaneer? Too much to pay for corn.

 

 

 
28.) Colts NC Despite your pre-planned victory over Aaron “I sold my soul to State Farm” Rodgers, you still suck – even with Luck.

 

29.) Titans á1 – The Flaming Thumbtacks were whipped again this week. Bud Adams is still an asshole. 

 

30.) Raiders á1 - A Merciful Bye-week for the Raiders. Who is your Quarterback again?

 

31.) Jaguars á1 - Getting crushed by the Bears puts you ahead of the loser Bills since you were expected to suck this year.

 

32.) Bills â5 – Congratulations on your latest NFL records! You are an embarrassment to professional football. I just peeled the Buffalo Bills sticker off the bumper of my car.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Pour a Shot from the Bottle


It’s your ole buddy The Mick here stepping away from how you normally see me. I had a rant all done but it can wait a couple of days. This post isn’t going to be funny, sorry.

You see I noticed what day it is and decided to open up a bit. It’s October 10, 2012 and today would be my dad’s 65th birthday. Unfortunately he lost his battle with cancer on August 29th of this year. It actually started to hit me on my birthday when I didn’t get his customary phone call. Of course I chalked it up to being selfish and kept these feelings mostly to myself. But the other day I was a tool truck and was looking around and thought “Hey, dad would really like this for his birthday” and a quickly exited the vehicle. So now it’s the actual day and I was feeling torn. Should I call in, make the drive to the gravesite and pay my respects? No. Dad would want me to pull my twelve hour shift and show no ill effects of the date. He used to tell me that most people are glad that you’re miserable so act happy all the time just to piss them off. So that’s my plan. I’m going to work my shift, make my sales and stick it to the miserable jerks that I see. Tomorrow on my day off I will make that long drive out to have a moment that is more for my benefit than his but I need to do it. I once read that the first year and a day is the hardest after you lose someone because you have all the firsts without them. The first birthdays, holidays and random phone calls that made them such a part of your life that you will never have again and sometimes took for granted.

I miss you dad. I love you. See you soon.

 

The Mick

Episode #6

This week on the broadcast, Jeff and Darren bemoan the end of the Rangers season, talk about the great weekend in college football and preview the Texas-OU rivalry in The Narrative, go all around the NFL with Recaps and Picks and are joined by The Mick for an entertaining EE segment! Quality programming you should tell your friends and total strangers about.

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/2012/10/10/episode-6/

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Bottom of The Bottle #5


F#@K YOU DAVID BLAINE!

David Blah has a new “magic trick” coming out. This debauchery is called “Electrified!” which is similar to “Glass Box!” and “Ice Tub!” So apparently it’s magic to sit around and do nothing. If this is true then I’m Merlin bitches! I’ll tell you a true magic trick; I didn’t drink for ten days! TA-DA!!!!!

So, “Electrified!” This trick is him standing in a circle of Tesla coils in a shark suit, with a deep sea diving bell frame on his head, and thick rubber soled shoes. I seem to recall Tesla sitting in a chair writing notes on faster than light travel, while trillions of volts were arcing around his head to prove the safety of his invention. Did I mention he was decked out in typical period dress? Yeah, no special armor just a three piece wool suit and wood soled shoes. Granted, wood is a great insulator but that gold pocket watch was a lightening rod on his center mass and he checked that bitch a couple of times.

So Blah is asking for the electricity to hit him and travel down a chosen path to the ground. If any of you know anything about electricity you know it’s lazy. Electricity will ALWAYS follow the path of LEAST resistance. Now it is true it only takes 7 milliamps for three seconds to your heart to cause arrhythmia. Also the higher the voltage the higher the amperage IF the resistance is constant but this electricity is traveling through the AIR! So let’s recap, one million volts of alternating current, traveling trough minimal resistance, following a predetermined path. I’m missing the danger.

Let me tell you real danger. I want to see this Armenian shove a copper rod, hooked to a welding rig up his ass and jump in a tub of mercury and fire that bitch up. Okay, I’m spent.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Week Five Stink Rankings

Special Note: We bring on a new contributor to The Sports Narrative blog. Years of rooting for the Buffalo Bills have twisted his heart into a bitter and shapened blade which he wields to slice up the entire NFL each week in a segment called The Stink Rankings. Note: His post has been sanitized for your consumption. Please note: The thoughts and venom of Tim the Dis-Enchanter are entirely his own and do not reflect that of The Sports Narrative blog, podcast or any of it's owners. In fact, they don't represent the thoughts of anyone without a black, black heart. Enjoy!!!
 
 
Week Five Stink Rankings
From the mind of Tim the Dis-Enchanter
 
 

1.) Texans á1 –Wins over the Dolphins, Jaguars, Broncos, and Titans do not exactly inspire confidence in placing the Texans at #1, but sneaking past Carolina by 2 points does not exactly inspire me to place Atlanta at #1 either.

 

2.) Falcons á3 – Placing the top 5 was exceedingly difficult this week due to the lackluster wins against marginal teams. The Falcons should have mauled Carolina. Still, a “W” is a “W”.

 

3.) 69ers NC –Alright, 34 points is a huge step forward for the Offense. The defense will outscore the offense this week with Ryan Fitzpatrick at the helm for Buffalo.

 

4.) Giants â3 – I still can’t shake the feeling that Giants always sputter here and there early and then turn it up in November. I stand by the #4 placement.

 

5.) Cardinals â1 – Pulling your ass out of the fire in OT at home to the Dolphins does not make me feel good about placing you this high.

 

6.) Ravens á1 – We’ll have to see if the Bye-week allowed the Ravens to rest up and prepare to keep rolling. If they return without Flacco, they’ll really be poised to move up.

 

7.) Patriots á3 – 45 unanswered points in the 2nd half? It’s not really that impressive when you realize that Dave Wannstadt never showed the Patriots anything other than a bland, base 4 man rush. You still haven’t won a Superbowl since “spygate”, so suck it!

 

8.) Eagles á5 – Who let the dogs out! Way to go Vick, you dog murdering piece of sh*t.

 

9.) Packers â1 – Woohoo! Way to “Discount Double-Check” the lowly Saints by one point in Lambeau.

 

10.) Steelers â1 – Ben “Douchelessbagger” and company should look like a different club when they return from the Bye-week.

 

11.) Bears á8 – Defense and a fierce pass-rush enabled Chicago to crush the Cowgirls. Cu*tler looked much better than he is. He’s got one great game left in him this year. Bears miss the playoffs.

 

12.) Broncos á4 – The win over the Raiders did not impress me. Nor did Peyton in those sh*tty Buick commercials. Honestly, if Andrew Dice Clay could throw a football and stopped cursing, he would be Peyton Manning… Hickory, Dickory, Dock; look at the brain-dead jock!

 

13.) Seahawks â7 – Way to get rolled by the Rams. What’s your quarterback’s name again?

 

14.) Lions â3 – Christian Ponder came into your house and took a sh*t on the rug.

 

15.) Cowboys â3  – Romo is as good as he is bad. Dez Bryant should grow up and stop showing us his tender age. Honestly, I haven’t seen that many balls dropped since Junior High. It’s hard to sink the Cowgirls, though, since I still believe they’re good enough to beat anybody.

 

16.) Bengals â1  –Prediction: Wild Card spot; one and done.

 

17.) Panthers á3 – That Offense looked pretty damn good against a tough Atlanta Defense. This team is like a wounded animal - a wounded hamster that rips the tip of your finger open with its incisors. Scary. 

 

18.) Vikings á4 – I’d say the Vikings have picked up some momentum after quietly going into a division game at Ford Field and whipping the Lions under the radar.

 

19.) Dolphins á7 – Please cut Kid Rock from the team. He’s still a terrible Kicker. Still, I have to give them credit for taking the Cardinals into OT in Arizona.

 

20.) Chargers â6 – Whipping Kansas City totally convinced me that San Diego is for real!! Despite the win, they move down by default. And by Phillip Rivers, who will give Ryan Fitzpatrick a run for his money for most interceptions this year.

 

21.) Redskins = –Still waiting for you to beat a decent team before I give you any credit. Change the name of your team – it’s 2012. If you were the Washington Negroes or the Washington Hook-Nosed-Jews, you would have changed it by now. Seriously, is your football legacy more important than the legacy of Native Americans? How about the Washington Small Pox Blankets?

 

22.) Jets â5 –Ned Flanders begins to be phased in at QB during the Texans game on MNF October 8th even though Rex Ryan keeps denying it. Rex will say that they intended on using both QBs this year, so nothing has changed. The Jets trade up next year to draft a QB next year - wait – they may not have to trade up.

 

23.) Chiefs = – You should have beaten San Diego at home. For that matter, you should have beaten Buffalo at home. For that matter, I should have moved you down further.

 

24.) Buccaneers NC– Who cares.

 

25.) Rams á2 – Nice Division win over the Sqwaks at home. Keep it up.

 

26.) Saints â1 –Early congratulations on your first victory at home over the Chargers this coming Sunday…

 

27.) Bills â9 – Mario Williams is AWOL. His 4 game stats are: 11 tackles & 1.5 sacks  It is worth noting that J.J. Watt has 20 Tackles & 7.5 sacks. I watched you half-ass rush and give up on 85% of the plays. Fitz-Tragic is terrible. The whole team was manhandled by the Pukeriots. The garbage is beginning to stink. Time to take it out.

 

28.) Colts NC– They have Luck and they still Suck.

 

29.) Browns NC – How ironic. I’m taking the Browns to the Superbowl as I type this.

 

30.) Titans â1 – Your logo looks like a flaming thumbtack. From now on, you are the “Tennessee Flaming Thumbtacks”.

 

31.) Raiders NC –Will the Raiders be in the same division as the Los Angeles Bills in 2 years?

 
32.) Jaguars NC – “Cu*tler”. I just had to say it one more time.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Episode #5

This week's episode, entitled The Meltdown, features Jeff and Darren discussing the weekend in both pro and college football including an epic Cowboys rant, an in-depth baseball interview with the great Dustin Copening of DFWFanconnetion.com, a look at the sports landscape including the Meltdown at Medina and another round of Terrible NFL Picks.

I. NFL Recaps
II. College Football Kick Around
III. The Narrative - An baseball conversation with Dustin Copening
IV. Entertainment Enema - Rantings and Ravings
V. The Sports Landscape
VI. Terrible NFL Picks

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/2012/10/02/episode-5/