Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Bottom of The Bottle #5


David Blah has a new “magic trick” coming out. This debauchery is called “Electrified!” which is similar to “Glass Box!” and “Ice Tub!” So apparently it’s magic to sit around and do nothing. If this is true then I’m Merlin bitches! I’ll tell you a true magic trick; I didn’t drink for ten days! TA-DA!!!!!

So, “Electrified!” This trick is him standing in a circle of Tesla coils in a shark suit, with a deep sea diving bell frame on his head, and thick rubber soled shoes. I seem to recall Tesla sitting in a chair writing notes on faster than light travel, while trillions of volts were arcing around his head to prove the safety of his invention. Did I mention he was decked out in typical period dress? Yeah, no special armor just a three piece wool suit and wood soled shoes. Granted, wood is a great insulator but that gold pocket watch was a lightening rod on his center mass and he checked that bitch a couple of times.

So Blah is asking for the electricity to hit him and travel down a chosen path to the ground. If any of you know anything about electricity you know it’s lazy. Electricity will ALWAYS follow the path of LEAST resistance. Now it is true it only takes 7 milliamps for three seconds to your heart to cause arrhythmia. Also the higher the voltage the higher the amperage IF the resistance is constant but this electricity is traveling through the AIR! So let’s recap, one million volts of alternating current, traveling trough minimal resistance, following a predetermined path. I’m missing the danger.

Let me tell you real danger. I want to see this Armenian shove a copper rod, hooked to a welding rig up his ass and jump in a tub of mercury and fire that bitch up. Okay, I’m spent.

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