F#@K YOU DAVID BLAINE!
David Blah has a new “magic trick” coming out. This
debauchery is called “Electrified!” which is similar to “Glass Box!” and “Ice
Tub!” So apparently it’s magic to sit around and do nothing. If this is true
then I’m Merlin bitches! I’ll tell you a true magic trick; I didn’t drink for
ten days! TA-DA!!!!!
So, “Electrified!” This trick is him standing in a circle of
Tesla coils in a shark suit, with a deep sea diving bell frame on his head, and
thick rubber soled shoes. I seem to recall Tesla sitting in a chair writing
notes on faster than light travel, while trillions of volts were arcing around
his head to prove the safety of his invention. Did I mention he was decked out
in typical period dress? Yeah, no special armor just a three piece wool suit
and wood soled shoes. Granted, wood is a great insulator but that gold pocket
watch was a lightening rod on his center mass and he checked that bitch a
couple of times.
So Blah is asking for the electricity to hit him and travel
down a chosen path to the ground. If any of you know anything about electricity
you know it’s lazy. Electricity will ALWAYS follow the path of LEAST
resistance. Now it is true it only takes 7 milliamps for three seconds to your
heart to cause arrhythmia. Also the higher the voltage the higher the amperage
IF the resistance is constant but this electricity is traveling through the
AIR! So let’s recap, one million volts of alternating current, traveling trough
minimal resistance, following a predetermined path. I’m missing the danger.
Let me tell you real danger. I want to see this Armenian
shove a copper rod, hooked to a welding rig up his ass and jump in a tub of
mercury and fire that bitch up. Okay, I’m spent.
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