Thursday, November 28, 2013

Dallas Cowboys Pre-Game Show: Week 13

Click HERE To Listen!

The Sports Narrative Proudly Presents the Dallas Cowboys Pre Game Show for Week 13 against the Oakland Raiders.

Dustin Copening recaps the Cowboys huge win last weekend in New York over the Giants, and gets you ready for a football Thanksgiving feast.

The Coaches Slant, Inside the Numbers,and all of the other weekly segments are here despite the quick turnaround; including some nifty Thanksgiving music to intro each segment.

Pull up a chair and a turkey leg and feel free to call in if you happen to be listening live.

Happy Thanksgiving, and Go Cowboys!

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Dallas Cowboys Pre-Game Show Week 12

Click HERE To Listen!

In the triumphant return of the greatest Pre-Game show in all of America, Dustin Copening rides solo and gets you ready for Cowboys vs Giants! On this episode:

- A revisit of the travesty in New Orleans and just where this team is headed through the bye week

- The Coach's Slant featuring audio from the coaches of both teams and a breakdown from our head-scout Jeff Bowers

- Inside the Numbers with a statistical analysis of the Cowboys and Giants matchup and who has the edge on paper

- Our Rock-Solid, No Doubt, Money-In-The-Bank predictions for the game

- A glance through the rest of the NFL schedule and some games to watch

All that and even your phone calls at (347) 308-8637
So sit back, relax, open your ears real wide and let Dustin tickle your Football Brain!

Week 12 Stink Rankings

by Tim the Dis-Enchanter

[Editor's Note: Tim the Dis-Enchanter is a life long Buffalo Bills fan. In the late 90's, Tim had all of his blood replaced with venom so he could properly display his feelings. The result is the following]


The following may be found highly offensive. Do not consume the Stink Rankings if you are easily offended, have any sense of morality, are pregnant or may become pregnant. The views expressed below are that of a deeply bitter man and in no way reflect those of The Sports Narrative, any of its members or anyone with a conscience.

Side effects of viewing the Stink Rankings may include nausea, complete loss of bladder control, unfortunate but humorous flatulence and death. If any of these symptoms occur, immediately retweet this to all of your friends, co-workers and enemies. Misery loves company!

Week Twelve Stink Rankings

Editors note: There was no “Week 11 Stink Rankings”. This was due to the strike by the Professional Writer’s Guild. Fortunately, we were able to reconcile our differences and I am happy to announce that a new contract extension has been secured.


1.) Chiefs NC – Andy Reid has started a new diet after the loss to the Broncos - a diet of cheeseburgers, pasta,  pizza, and pork gravy, which he just drinks through a straw from one of those pail-sized cups that were banned in New York by Mayor McF-face.

2.) Broncos +1 – Peyton Manning: the end-product of a privileged upbringing, flagrant disregard for higher education, and smug, condescending attitude toward the world. The guy can read a defense and throw a GD football, he’s not Winston Churchill, ok? Thanks Papa.   

3.) Saints +1 – The Saints won a thriller in overtime against the 69ers. The Superdome in New Orleans hadn’t seen that much rioting and pooping since Hurricane Katrina.     

4.) Seahawks -2  – Remember when Kurt Cobain blew his face off with a shotgun in Seattle? The poor bastard had nearly made it to Half Time.  

5.) Colts NC – Yuck Mouth appears to be getting back on track after that humiliating loss to the Rams.  

6.) Bengals +1 – Boring.      

7.) Patriots -1 – I almost pissed my pants laughing when the Panthers shoved it up the ass of these Cheaters on Monday Night Football. Hey Tom Brady, I know you read this each week: Eff You!   

8.) Bears NC – McClown appears to have outperformed Cu_tler at the quarterback position. Cu_tler had better pick it up or he’s going to be babysitting the bench. Cu_tler. 



9.) 69ers NC – Watching the Niners – along with their aA-hole coach lose was therapeutic. I hadn’t felt so gratified since Bin Laden was killed.   

10.) Redskins NC – RG3-7.

11.) Panthers +10 – Did anyone else catch the dejected demeanor of Bill Belichick on the post-game press conference? I could watch it over and over and over. Thank you Mr. Newton. Thank you. 

12.) Eagles +14 If you’re a fat, loud-mouthed douche bag, you might want to skip wearing the visor every week – it just makes you look like a white-trash idiot. 

13.) Cardinals +10 – How is this team 6-4?   

14.) Falcons -2 – What in the hell has gone so horribly wrong in Atlanta this year? 

15.) Lions -1 – Holy @#$% I almost forgot how excited I was to watch the Steelers creep back and win last Sunday. It felt like my birthday – the one where I went to Burger King for the first time, then to see The Empire Strikes Back, and then to my best friend’s house to stay up all night drinking Mountain Dew and perusing his dad’s Penthouse magazines. Man, that was the best birthday ever. 

16.) Cowboys NC – In a division where the Cowboys were granted an easy lead into first place, the only relevant question that remains is: can they now stay ahead of Washington and keep from finishing in last place? 


17.) Jets -2 – The Bills actually caught more touchdown passes from Geno Smith than from EJ Manuel last Sunday.

18.) Packers -7 Oh thank you State Farm for abusing the touchdown celebration that you bought from Aaron Rodgers. I could not imagine a way that you could further humiliate and disrespect him. The fat screaming cheese-head shouting at him at the end of your commercials is an especially nice touch. I may just switch my insurance to State Farm.

19.) Ravens -1 – Joe Flaccid has a great chance to pick up another win against the  Interceptecons who will be invading from the planet Fumball. It’s located deep in the Piksiks galaxy.   

20.) Titans -1 – I would rather debate a fundamentalist Baptist Tea Party member while wearing a French beret than watch the Titans play.  

21.) Rams -1 – Boring.  

22.) Giants +8 – 0-6 October 10th. Two games out of first place today.

23.) Dolphins -1 – What a stupid mascot. A dolphin? How about the Miami Praying Mantises? Yeah, I know – I was wondering if it would be “Mantii” too. It’s not. I looked it up.

24.) Chargers -11 – Hey thanks for rolling over and forking your cheeks apart for the Dolphins last Sunday. We needed them to lose, douchebag team. 


25.) Browns -8 – They’re the bad, bad, Cleveland Browns. The baddest team in the whole damn town. Badder than old King Kong. Meaner than the junkyard dog… HEY! I just figured out why the dog is their mascot! And now you know.

26.) Bills -2 – Nice job running up the score on the Jests. Too bad they cannot stretch some of that into, you know, other games.    

27.) Texans -2 – Matt Schaub will be in Buffalo next year. He’ll be the guy running out onto the field with the sweat towel and the Gatorade during time-outs.       

28.) Vikings -1 – Things I would rather watch than the Vikings: CSPAN, The 700 Club, High School girls Softball, Olympic Curling, a S#$%uars game.

29.) Raiders -1 – Unwatchable.  

30.) Steelers -1 – Douchelessbagger is coming up on his one year anniversary of not (getting caught) raping anyone.

31.) Buccaneers NC – Mike Glennon has 11 touchdowns in 7 games. Suddenly the F#$%aneers don’t seem as bad as their record. 

32.) Jaguars NC “With the 1st overall selection in the NFL 2014 draft, the Jack-#$%-sonville Jaguars select…”  


Sunday, November 17, 2013

Week 11 Picks

The Sports Narrative Radio Show crew will each week be giving you all of our NFL picks against the spread. The person with the worst record at the end of the year OR if they finish behind both The Mick and Katie will be subjected to wearing a chosen costume at a January roadshow TBD. The costumes are as follows:

Jeff Bowers: dress as Ron Burgundy (with moustache!)
Dustin Copening: dress as a 70's basketball player (with nut-hugger shorts and red afro)
Jeff Feltman: dress in drag with blonde wig (not really a punishment?)
The Mick: dress in a full suit and pink tie (Bond-style)
Katie: dress as Wonder Woman (We all want this one!)
Darren Boyd: Winner's pick (very, very risky)
Here's this week's picks. Good Luck!
Game The Mick Darren Katie Feltman Dustin Jeff
Indianapolis (-3) at Tennessee Indy Indy Indy Indy Indy Indy
Atlanta (-1.5) at Tampa Bay Atl TB Atl Atl Atl TB
NY Jets at Buffalo (-1) NYJ NYJ NYJ NYJ NYJ NYJ
Detroit (-2) at Pittsburgh Det Pitt Pitt Det Det Det
Washington at Philadelphia (-3.5) Wash Phil Phil Phil Wash Phil
San Diego (-1.5) at Miami SD Mia SD Mia SD SD
Baltimore at Chicago (-3) Chi Chi Balt Balt Chi Chi
Cleveland at Cincinnati (-6) Cin Cin Cin Cle Cle Cin
Oakland at Houston (-7) Oak Hou Hou Oak Oak Hou
Arizona (-7) at Jacksonville Ariz Ariz Ariz Ariz Ariz Ariz
Minnesota at Seattle (-12.5) Sea Sea Sea Sea Sea Sea
San Francisco at New Orleans (-3) NO NO NO NO NO NO
Green Bay at NY Giants (-5) GB NYG NO NYG NYG GB
Kansas City at Denver (-8) KC KC KC KC KC KC
New England at Carolina (-2.5) NE NE NE NE NE Car
Last Week 8-6 5-9 5-9 4-10 10-4 8-6
Overall 76-69-2 74-71-2 70-75-2 69-76-2 69-76-2 64-81-2

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Holiday Break

by Jeff Bowers

The Sports Narrative Radio Show is going to take a brief hiatus through the holiday season. It's been an amazing ride so far as we just completed our 100th episode. We will continue to bring you premium sports content here on the website. And look for The Sports Narrative Draft Guide to come out in April of next year. Thank you to everyone for listening and hope to see you all again in 2014.
Have a safe and happy holidays!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Dolphins Drama: A Fan's Perspective

by Darren Boyd

As a diehard Miami Dolphin fan, I've been waiting for the Jonathan Martin Saga to play it self out before rushing to judgment. After Monday nights loss the winless F-ing Tampa Bay Bucs, my rage toward the situation and the organization boiled over!!! So here's an angry rant on everything surrounding this teal and orange dumpster fire.
As for my thoughts on Jonathan Martin, the bottom line is he walked out and QUIT on this team. He had many avenues he could take if he was being bullied but he QUIT. Most of my rage goes towards Jeff Ireland for wasting a 2nd round draft pick on a quitter. Ireland is a Bill Parcells disciple and if football was not number 1 in your life during the draft interviews Parcells would not draft you.  The rumors out of the draft process was that Martin's focus was not on football first and thus he was a 1st round talent who slid into the 2nd round. Ireland was so insistent on letting Jake Long leave that he overlooked the lack of passion from Martin. Ireland has missed on the last few drafts and now going all in in Free Agency this season has been a epic fail! I will help him pack his office just to get him out of the building when he is fired at the end of another miserable season.  As for Martin, I hope he never plays another down for the Dolphins.
    Richie Incognito is a meat head. His actions on and off the field speak for themselves.  The biggest question I have still is whether he was ordered by coaches to give Martin a "Code Red" to toughen him up? If Philbin knew and supported this, then his head should roll too. I can't stand Philbin because he is an awful game manager. He refuses to change and can't make adjustments at halftime. Every human being that watches Dolphins game knows that when Ryan Tannehill says "Go" once its a pass, "Go Go" is a run. Philbin refuses to change the cadence of the snap count and he claims its not an issue. He had 10 days to get this team ready after the bye week. One of the most important games in decades as far as the organization was concerned. They had to reverse the negative crap that was going on. Did the Dolphins come out fired up and ready to get the Martin issue behind them? NO, they f-ingslept walk thru most of the first half. They trailed the winless Bucs 15-0 before scoring a late 2nd quarter TD. After Mike James goes out with an injury, does Philbin worry about stopping the run....NO, he allows a 100 yards from 2 future Walmart workers...sorry to insult Walmart in that way. Philbin is in over his head.
    I'm ready to PURGE this team's front office and coaches. The owner Mr. Ross must make massive changes this offseason. Ireland and Philbin must go. I hope Mr. Ross will bring in a GM and Coach who can or already knows how the modern game is played. Ireland's back ground was a power game and 3 yards and a cloud of dust. Philbin was an offensive coordinator in Green Bay who never called the plays. The Dolphins franchise has not been to the playoffs since 2008. It has a floundering fan base in Miami on game days. It needs a purge and a spark.  I believe you can build around Ryan Tannehill. He has all of the tools except pocket presence. A new coach will have a lot to work with in 2014. This team has the talent to play with and beat most teams. They need true leadership in the Front Office and a real head coach in 2014.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Veteran's Day Show

Click HERE To Listen!

Join Jeff and The Mick for a very special Veteran's Day version of The Sports Narrative Radio Show! On this episode:

- We give you the latest on the Richie Incognito drama, the disaster that is the Dallas Cowboys and everything else happening in the NFL

- A look back at the college football weekend, including whether Baylor has a real shot at the National Championship and whether Mack Brown is saving his job or losing week to week.

- We wander into Mick's Pub for a variety of un-sportsy topics including news, nerdy stuff and the like.

- We finish with a sports casserole including NBA, college hoops, NHL, NASCAR and more

And of course we always invite your calls at (347) 308-8637

So give us a listen Monday November 11th from 8-9:30PM CST or anytime after on ITunes or at

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Week 10 Picks

The Sports Narrative Radio Show crew will each week be giving you all of our NFL picks against the spread. The person with the worst record at the end of the year OR if they finish behind both The Mick and Katie will be subjected to wearing a chosen costume at a January roadshow TBD. The costumes are as follows:
Jeff Bowers: dress as Ron Burgundy (with moustache!)

Dustin Copening: dress as a 70's basketball player (with nut-hugger shorts and red afro)

Jeff Feltman: dress in drag with blonde wig (not really a punishment?)

The Mick: dress in a full suit and pink tie (Bond-style)

Katie: dress as Wonder Woman (We all want this one!)

Darren Boyd: Winner's pick (very, very risky)
Here's this week's picks. Good Luck!

Game Darren The Mick Katie Feltman Dustin Jeff
Wasington (-2) at Minnesota Wash Wash Wash Wash Wash Wash
Jacksonville at Tennessee (-12) Tenn Jax Tenn Tenn Jax Jax
Philadelphia at Green Bay (-1.5) GB GB GB GB Phil Phil
Buffalo at Pittsburgh (-3) Pitt Pitt Pitt Buff Pitt Buff
Oakland at NY Giants (-7) NYG Oak NYG Oak NYG NYG
St Louis at Indianapolis (-9.5) STL Indy StL StL Indy StL
Seattle (-6.5) at Atlanta Sea Sea Sea Atl Sea Sea
Cincinnati (-1.5) at Baltimore Cin Cin Balt Balt Cin Cin
Detroit (-2.5) at Chicago Det Chi Det Det Chi Det
Carolian at San Francisco (-6) SF SF SF Car SF SF
Houston at Arizoma (-2.5) Hou Ariz Hou Hou Ariz Ariz
Denver (-7) at San Diego Den Den SD SD Den Den
Dallas at New Orleans (-7) NO Dal NO Dal NO NO
Miami (-3) at Tampa Bay Mia  TB Mia Mia TB TB
Last Week 9-4 7-6 4-9 7-6 5-8 7-6
Overall 69-62-2 68-63-2 65-66-2 65-66-2 59-72-2 56-75-2