The war of attrition that is the NFL season is in full force. Taking some teams from contenders to pretenders, while taking others from bad to truly putrid, this is the time of year when the quality of the front office (scouting, drafting, coaching) really begins to shine. Championship teams shine like a stunning platinum Lombardi Trophy, while lesser teams shine like the smelly red cinnamon bun on the back of a baboon. You can just look into the eyes of a die-hard fan to know which team is which. Here's this week's Power Rankings (using Film ratings):
(Citizan Kane Group) - The standard by which others are measured, but time has begun to show tiny flaws.
1. Green Bay Packers (NC): After being wowed like the rest of the league is by Cam Newton for a half, the Pack asserted their pedigree and kept their place at the top.
2. New England Patriots (NC): The defense might be a little weak, but it's opportunistic and will gladly take a win that the Chargers give them.
(Gone with the Wind Group) - Never considered for the #1 spot, but wildly popular and solid
3. New Orleans Saints (+1): After a slow start against the Bears, Who Dat finally began to look like my Superbowl pick
4. Houston Texans (+1): Not really tested yet, but taking care of business each week
5. New York Jets (+3): That defense finally looked as scary as Rex Ryan in a foot fetish video. Tough 3 game road trip ahead to Oak, Balt, and NE
6. Baltimore Ravens (-3): Predictable let down after destroying the Steelers. Gotta bounce back against the banged-up Rams
7. Pittsburgh Steelers (+2): Destroyed a woeful Sea-Chickens team. Looking old on D still
(Star Wars Group) - Lots of fun to watch, lots of holes in the fabric
8. San Diego Chargers (-2): Would be a lot better if they'd stop Plaxico-ing themselves every week
9. Atlanta Falcons (+1): Showed guts Sunday Night, but something is just not right there
10. Philadelphia Eagles (-3): I knew Vick would go out at some point this season, just not this early
11. Detroit Lions (+1): I pretty certain that the Lions being good is a sign of the Apocalypse
12. Chicago Bears (-1): Play with heart, but go up and down like Jay Cutler's blood sugar
(Shawshank Redemption Group) - Newcomers to the group, trying to gain credibility, but quality showing
13. Washington Redskins (+4): So far surviving the once a game "Bad Rex" moment. MNF vs. an injured Dallas team could really plant their flag
14. Buffalo Bills (+7): Struggled with the Raiders, but came from behind to win 3 times. The kind of game winning teams pull out. Get the Pats at home to show what they've really got
15. New York Giants (+3): Overcoming injuries with killer pass rush and running game. A good bad-team, beats the bad teams, lose to good ones
16. Dallas Cowboys (NC): Heroic effort by Romo after being the goat last week, but SO many injuries
17. Carolina Panthers (+9): Had the champs on the ropes, but couldn't finish them. Gotta get the running game going to help out Cam the Man
(The English Patient Group) - Dreadfully, draedfully boring!
18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-5): Pulled out a win, but against an awful Vikings team. Yawn!
19. Arizona Cardinals (-5): Still on track to be the worst division winner
20. Tennessee Titans (+9): Woke up and shocked the Ravens, but Hasselback probably won't have another game like that again all year
21. Miami Dolphins (-1): Might be the best 0-2 team, but the offense is painful and Reggie Bush appears to be a $12 million dollar cheerleader
22. Cincinnati Bengals (+1): Got some young building blocks in place, gonna grow together. Then leave via free agency
(Nightmare of Elm Street Group) - Somewhere between gory, scary and ridiculous
23. St Louis Rams (-8): Injuries have decimated what should be a good team. Doesn't get much easier with a ticked-off Ravens team coming to town.
24. Cleveland Browns (+3): Struggled with a bad Colts team, but won the game. Looks very soft all around
25. Oakland Raiders (-6): Choked away a game vs the Bills. Great running game, suspect secondary
26. Minnesota Vikings (-4): Already hearing cries for Ponder at QB. Gonna be a long year for Peterson
27. Denver Broncos (+4): Fans finally got to see their beloved Tebow . . . at WR. Injuries have made this into an USFL team
(Any Movie starring Nicolas Cage Group) - Just plain crap-tastic!
28. San Francisco 49ers (-3): Bad QB and young inexperienced coaching. Both will get better in the future
29. Jacksonville Jaguars (-5): The Blaine Gabbert era begins. Good luck, kid, you're gonna need it!
30. Indianapolis Colts (-2): I get the feeling Kerry Collins wishes he had stayed retired
31. Kansas City Chiefs (-1): Losing 3 of your top 5 players for the season is rough. Bye-bye, Todd Haley
32. Seattle Seahawks (NC): They might not win a game all year. Seriously