Bottom of the Bottle

from The Mick

 

 

 

Hey it’s your old pal The Mick. I was asked to give you a review of Halo 4. I don’t have an Xbox and I’ve never played Halo. I am well aware that it has a character named Master Chief and he has returned. So that tells me that he has been missing for two games which is how you define a game icon. So here is everything you want to know about Halo 4. http://www.g4tv.com/search/?q=halo4. Alright let’s bust into a couple of things that I want to address.

First, I am tired of hearing about Super Storm Sandy. The East Coast got hit by a category 1 hurricane that hung around because of a low pressure system. Last time I checked “1” is the lowest rating for hurricanes. Now I’m not unsympathetic. People died, sewers overflowed, and animals were displaced. All of this is very sad and donations should be made to help ease the economic strain (www.redcross.org ). Overall, I don’t care.

Second, the damned election. Once a leap year we line up at high schools and courthouses to stand in a booth and color in boxes for a sticker. Unfortunately, the sticker is the only substantial result of voting. Unless it’s a local election your vote doesn’t count. The president is picked by an electoral college which makes about as much sense as BCS standings. It’s old, broken and corrupt, just like the government as a whole. Overall, I don’t care.

Finally, f-ing zombies. Why does every game have to have an f-ing zombie level. I’m surprised I haven’t run into one on Assassin’s Creed 3 yet, but, I’m sure it’ll be a DLC. Now don’t get me wrong I like killing zombies as much as the next nerd, but, sweet mercifully hop-scotching Jesus. Call of Duty, Borderlands, Red Dead Redemption, Half-Life, Warcraft, and Halo 4 all have zombie levels. I am excited about the newest zombie craze though, Zombie Run. It’s a 5k obstacle course with zombies chasing you. I am all for making work outs fun. Not everyone can appreciate the concept of pick up heavy s#!t, put it down, pick it up again.

Maybe one day an actual hard storm will hit D.C. dropping zombies on the government and they will wish they had hit the gym instead of our wallets. We can only hope and realize that all the zombie levels have desensitized us so the undead don’t stand a chance. Tap the head, they stay dead

Episode #10

On this week's special election show, Jeff, Darren and special contributer Dustin Copening break down Week 9 in the NFL and the college football landscape, explain the intrigue behind "The Redskins Rule" in The Narrative, talk the sports of movie-watching with The Mick, touch on the start of the basketball season and finish up with another round of Awful NFL Picks.

I. NFL Recaps

 

II. The Narrative - The Redskins Rule

 

III. College Football Round-up

 

IV. Entertainment Enema w/ The Mick

 

V. The Sports Landscape

 

VI. Awful NFL Picks

 

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/mf/web/beiq22/Podcast11.mp3

Week Nine Stink Rankings

Week Nine Stink Rankings

by Tim the Dis-Enchanter 

 

1.) Giants NC – Great teams win big division games when they need to. The Cowboys are better than their record and the Giants still beat them in a gritty win.

 

2.) Packers NC - I sold my touchdown dance to an insurance company; the one thing that was truly my own, was, in fact for sale. 

 

3.) Texans á1 – They are a decent team, but will be hard-pressed to pull out a tough win against the surging, powerful, score-machine Bills. 

 

4.) Bears â1  – It’s about time for Cu*tler to take the annual nose-dive.

 

5.) Broncos NC – Thanks Papa.

 

6.) Falcons NC – It’s time for the Falcons to lose a game. Every week I keep saying that they aren’t that good, yet they keep winning. Lose, damn it.

 

7.) 69ers NC – The overrated Defense has sprung a couple of leaks. – Still great, but not unbeatable.

 

8.) Patriots á1 – I bought a Tom Brady jersey that I use to clean out my cat’s litter box.

 

9.) Seahawks â1 – Wild Card; one and done. You heard it here first.

 

10.) Dolphins á3 – I hate to admit that they are for real, but they look pretty good. 

 

11.) Redskins â2 – His name is Robert Griffin III, not “RG3”. Are we a nation of seven year-olds?

 

12.) Ravens â1 – Two people are dead and Ray Lewis is a star. He should be sneaking shanks out of the wood shop for cigarettes.

 

13.) Steelers á1 – and the award for the stupidest looking throw-back uniforms goes to…

 

14.) Cowboys á1 – How many seasons do Cowboys fans keep wondering whether or not “it’s Romo”? Still, they move up one spot for hanging in there against the Giants.

 

15.) Jets â3 – They’ve fallen and they can’t get up. Tim Turbo to the rescue! Which will happen first – Tebow gets laid, or the Jets go to the Superbowl?

 

16.) Lions á2 – The Lions on Thanksgiving AGAIN. Time for a new commissioner. If it weren’t for Detroit playing on Thanksgiving, no one would volunteer to work all day at the homeless shelters.

 

17.) Eagles â1 – Yo! Vick gives you the best chance to win. Who thought we’d be hearing a Quarterback controversy out of Filthadelphia halfway through the season.

 

18.) Vikings â1 – Thanks for getting mauled by Tampon Bay, Minnesota. I’ll never pick you to win again

 

19.) Buccaneers á3 – Tampon Bay

 

20.) Cardinals â1 – Yes, an Offensive line comes in handy from time to time.

 

21.) Rams â1 – 45 – 7 loss to the Pukeriots? Bill Belichick is obviously cheating again. I heard that he makes Welker, Edelman, and Danny Dickhead wear orange make-up and striped shirts like Oompa-Loompas when they lose. Weird.  

 

22.) Bengals â1 – Yawn….

 

23.) Panthers NC – Panthers? Isn’t there some other game on? No? How about Barney Miller re-runs?

 

24.) Chargers á1 – They whipped the Browns and Chiefs because they are awesome. Just like Buffalo.

 

25.) Saints â1 – Who in the hell are Dey? Certainly not all dat!

 

26.) Raiders á5 – Who cares. 

 

27.) Colts á1 – What a disgusting snot and saliva filled tooth-pit that Quarterback has in the middle of his face. Close your freaking mouth, would you?

 

28.) Titans á1 – The Flaming Thumbtacks.

 

29.) Bills á1 – Poised to move up after they crush the Texans on Sunday in a “freak deal” game. 

 

30.) Browns â4 – Something stinks in Believeland. Its first name is Mike and its last name is Holmgren. It looks like a walrus and has a swimming pool full of applesauce.

 

31.) Jaguars á1 – Wonder-Twin powers ACTIVATE! Form of a struggling NFL franchise. Shape of a Losing Record.

 

32.) Chiefs â5 – If they keep playing the way they are, I will interview for the Chief’s Head Coaching position next year.

Cowboy's Blog by Darren Boyd

Cowboy Fans, 

 

This is a interesting offseaon coming up for the franchise in many ways, as we will no likely detail in many ways on the podcast. But the most important item on the docket might just be the Tony Romo situation. 2013 is the final year of his contract at a bloated 16.8 Mill Salary Cap figure that will no doubt call for an extenstion or a release. Will Jerry the GM pay a long term deal for a 32 year old QB? Jerry's history says absolutely that he will, as his propensity for paying aging players is well-established and maddening. But just in case he does not, I've previewed the Top 5 Senior QB's that will be available in the 2013 NFL Draft. Also Cowboy Fans, I believe in the former great general manager of the Packers, Ron Wolf, theory that you draft a QB every year. Teams like the Patriots, Packers and even the Seahawks this season show the validity of this theory. Of course, the Cowboys franchise have not drafted a QB since the failed Stephen McGee experiment, but they still need to get back on that horse to give themselves options going forward.
 

Here are my Top 5 Senior QB's, I'll add Juniors into the list as time goes by and some declare.
 

1. Geno Smith West Virginia 6'3 214 26 TDs 2 Ints - Exploded on the Heisman Scene with shootout wins over Baylor & Texas. Has comeback to Earth the last 2 weeks, also lost some of his weapons due to injuries. Positives: great pocket presences, spins the ball well, good deep ball. Negatives: not an elite athlete, Lack of accuracy when flushed out of the pocket Summary: Top 10 pick could go 1 st overall depnding on who gets the pick.

 

2. Matt Barkley USC 6'2 230 25 TDs 8 Ints - Started off the season as the Number 1 overall pick and Heisman Winner. My how times of changed. 2 losses to Stanford & Arizona have caused his stock to fall. A lot of scouts question if he is a system USC QB like Sean Salisbury and Matt Leinart or can he be a "Real" NFL signal caller. I feel that he will be a Top 20 pick because of his production.
 

3. Tyler Wilson Arkansas 6'3 220 16 TdDs 7 Ints - He started off the year with high hopes but was knocked out against Louisiana Monroe and set out the showcase game against Alabama. Despite his teams overall play, he has played well since then. He has the size and arm strength to make it in the NFL. I expect him to be a 1st Rounder & that is my last 1st Round Senior QB on the board.
 

4. EJ Manuel Florida St 6'4 245 16 TDs 4 Ints - He has the size that NFL teams want, he is a pocket QB and not a runner despite a 100 yard day on the ground against Clemson. He is an effective QB against a soft ACC Conference. A 2nd Round prospect to me but the way that NFL pushes QB prospects up the board. aka C Ponder, a team from the early 2nd Round might fall in love with his size and jump back into the late 1st Round to get him.
 

5. Landry Jones Oklahoma 6'4 230 12 TDs 4 Ints - I feel that the 2 losses to Kansas St and Notre Dame showed that he is not a NFL quality QB. He can make the easy wide open throw but his arm strength and accuracy are average at best. He has had several years to prove me wrong but has never been able to step up. He reminds me of a Kirk Cousins. A 3rd or 4th rounder career NFL backup with zero upside.
 

To get this out of the way. Collin Klein may very well win the Heisman Trophy but by no means is he a future NFL QB. Last thought, the NFL trade deadline is tomorrow, If I am GM Jerry, I would offer the St Louis Rams a 4th Rounder for Steven Jackson. This would make up for the wrong of passing on him and trading back for Julius " Im out of the NFL already" Jones. Jackson has 1 year left on his contract and is a massive upgrade to the fragile Felix "Soon to be Gone" Jones.
 

 

(Note: The trade deadline came and went without any action. Guess Jerry's "Go for it" mentality really has been cruched by the Sean Lee injury)

NBA Preview

On a very special 1 hour special of The Sports Narrative, Jeff is joined by the great Dustin Copening of DFWFanConnection.com to break down the new NBA season and rant on the failures of the Dallas Mavericks.

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/mf/web/dmp4zr/NBAPreview.mp3

Bottom of the Bottle

Bottom of the Bottle

from The Mick

Your old pal The Mick is back and like freaky psychic. I know. Last week I brought up the classic debate between Star Wars and Star Trek and mentioned that Star Wars has the possibility of infinite run. Well, I guess someone else agrees. Mind you that it’s starting off a little slow, but, you can’t start a revolution instantly, ground work must be laid.

Disney buys LucasArts for $4.05 BILLION DOLLARS! That is a little bit of cheddar. Of course half a second after Lucas signed over the company Disney said "We are making Star Wars 7 and 8 and 9". Then promptly threw a contract in front of George to consult on the films and give the Company his soul. Which I think is good, from a certain point of view.

Sure in a Disney version Han wouldn't shoot first and I have a bad feeling about this, but, it should be fine. Our sanitized world can't handle an aggressive antihero. The only medium you can find a killer (and I mean murderous) hero is in a video game. In six films you will find a soda can worth of blood and that's only in the films made 30 plus years ago. I smell Disney already. Not once does anyone cuss or even come close to swearing. Samuel L. Jackson was clean as a whistle. What I wouldn't have given to hear him yell "Die you mother f@(king Sith" when he was fighting the Emperor. That would've been epic! So LucasArts was halfway to Disney from the get go. Now let’s get to the important bit. Disney owns Pixar. So now when you have the green screen effects and the droids and the aliens you are going to have a marriage of Pixar and Industrial Light and Magic. Of course, Pixar started as a part of LucasArts so it's more of a homecoming. George Lucas has been in bed with Disney for awhile. I'm sure we all remember Jedi Mickey and his work on the Magic Kingdom.

Now for the awesome bit, my friends. Do you remember the quote from earlier? It's okay. I wait while you read it again. That's right the third trilogy in saga is going to be made. We were promised that two decades ago and it's finally coming to fruition! Or so they say. Of course making 7 without the others would be stupid. Star Wars lives in the land of trilogies and perhaps that's the problem. I don't want to wait 3-5 years to finish a damn story. I can read faster than that and what's the point of movies if not to tell a story quicker than a book! I bet you dimes to dollars in the time it took from start of production until the end of theater run any one of you could've read The Lord of the Rings trilogy before the movies told you an abbreviated story. You all know where the quick and easy path leads.

IT’S A TRAP!!!

Episode #9

On a very special Halloween episode, Jeff and Darren break down the weekend in both college and pro football, explore superstition in sports in The Narrative, talk about scary movies with The Mick and are joined by Dustin Copening of DFWFanconnection.com for a preview of the upcoming NBA season and the Dallas Mavericks.

I. NFL Recaps

II. The Narrative - Superstition in sports

III. College Football Round Up

IV. Entertainment Enema w/ The Mick

V. The Sports Landscape - NBA Preview w/ Dustin Copening

VI. Terrible NFL Picks

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/mf/web/7cb3x/Halloween.mp3

(Editor's Note: apparently Halloween ran off with the last 45 minutes of my show! So look for revised NBA preview in a very special bonus Sports Narrative this week. Sorry for the inconvience)