Live Show #3

On today's one hour live show, Jeff and The Mick establish their new Wednesday format called "The Sports Landscape." Each week they will take a broader look at the world of sports as a whole in an NPR-type discussion format. In addition, The Mick cleanses us from the sports world briefly in a segment called "The Entertainment Enema" Enjoy!

I. First 15 - brief look at the sports news of the day

II. The Entertainment Enema - featuring The Mick

III. The Sports Landscape - The state and future of the NFL

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/mf/web/iikukb/11-21.mp3

College Football Round-Up

On today's 1 hour extravaganza, Jeff and Darren wrap up the weekend in college football and peruse the rest of the sports world as well. Join us tomorrow for "The Sports Landscape" when we take a broader and more in-depth look at the state and future of the NFL. And join us on the air with your comments via email thesportsnarrative@gmail.com or twitter @sportsnarrative or by calling in live from 1 PM to 2 PM CST at (347) 308-8637. Thanks!

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/mf/web/c5e7ix/college-football-tuesday.mp3

Our First Live Show!

Live from New York, It's Monday Afternoon!!! Very excited for the first new 1 hour show format. Jeff, Darren and The Mick discuss this weekend's NFL action game by game and preview tonight's Monday Night match-up. Give us a listen or jump in on the show yourself weekdays at 1PM CST.

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/mf/web/dbwm89/show_4040603.mp3

Stink Rankings

Week Eleven Stink Rankings

 

By Tim the Dis-Enchanter

 

1.) Bears á1 – Cu*tler was flattened in a dirty hit. Texans win, but the Bears are a better team who lost a strong 4^th quarter QB to a cheap hit.

 

2.) Packers á1 – Aaron Rodgers makes full use of the Bye Week to make some more sh*tty commercials.  

 

3.) Texans á1 – I’m certain your fans are all leading the chorus of remarks besmirching Roger Goodell and the NFL for the penalty and fine on Dobbins for the dirty cheap hit on Cu*tler.   

 

4.) Falcons á1 - I finally pick them to win and they lose. Matt Ryan should consider taking a day or two off from tanning. He’s starting to look like one of those douche-bag Gotti kids from that miserable television show.    

 

5.) Ravens á6 - They absolutely murdered the Raiders, destroyed their bloody shirts and got away with it by intimidating the witnesses.

 

6.) Giants â5 – Way to choke in Cincinnati.

 

7.) Broncos á2 – Peyton Manning and the Papa John’s Guy officially come out of the closet and get married in Maine. Peyton is still a giant douche and Papa’s pizzas still taste like hot vomit on cardboard. Thanks Papa.

 

8.) 69ers â2 – Tragically, Alex Smith left the game with a concussion just as he was about to move ahead of Ryan Leaf in the statistics chart.

 

9.) Patriots â2 – You should have lost to the floundering Bills. A mistake by a rookie wide receiver in the last 20 seconds of the game resulting in a win does nothing to make the Pukeriots look the least bit intimidating.

 

10.) Seahawks â2 – Seattle’s quarterback look great against the Jets, whoever he is.   

 

11.) Saints á8 – They are still cleaning the brown smears of Matt Ryan’s fake tan off the turf in the Superdome.

 

12.) Cowboys á5 – The Cowboys mauled the Eagles. Can they win another one?

 

13.) Steelers â3 – Rapistberger narrowly squeaked out a win against the Junior Varsity Chiefs. Then almost died.

 

14.) Dolphins â2 – The Dolphins have ended up in cans of tuna the last two games.

 

15.) Redskins â2 – Either they had a bye week, or else I just didn’t look that hard to find the score of whatever game they might have played. I guess we’ll never know.

 

16.) Vikings NC – Way to put the Lions in their place.

 

17.) Buccaneers á1 – They’re awesome because they beat the Chargers.

 

18.) Rams á4 – The Rams keep getting better. Kicking San Francisco in the nuts with that tie was gratifying.

 

19.) Lions â4 – The wheels have fallen off just in time for the Lions to roll over and get stuffed by the Texans on Thanksgiving. Sorry for the graphic image.

 

20.) Cardinals NC – Such a stupid mascot for an NFL franchise. How about the Arizona Right-Wing Nut-jobs? Now there’s a scary mascot!

 

21.) Panthers NC – Who?

 

22.) Jets â8 – Te-Bow! Te-Bow! Te-Bow!

 

23.) Bills á6 – They suck at 4 – 6, but they beat the Dolphins, so for one week in Buffalo the clouds have parted and a little ray of sunshine has pierced through. Screw you Marino.

 

24.) Bengals â1 – Who cares.

 

25.) Eagles â1 – Cry Eagles, cry!

 

26.) Colts â1 – Andrew Luck’s disgusting mouth hanging open every Sunday is preventing us from winning the war on terror.

 

27.) Chargers â1 - Bad

 

28.) Raiders â1- Worse

 

29.) Titans â1- Horrible

 

30.) Browns NC – Abysmal

 

31.) Jaguars NC - Useless

 

32.) Chiefs NC – Irrelevant

Bottom of the Bottle

Bottom of the Bottle

from The Mick

It’s your old pal The Mick back again. While waiting on the results of a culture, a REAL important culture I’ve come to realize I am a very angry person. What if this bacterial experiment I’m growing in my body is fatal? My adult life has been spent trying to avoid contributing to the creation of Cap’n Tripps and it might be my undoing. Of course, on the other side of the coin, since I run from antibiotics like a Scientologist from reason, the pills could work better. In all reality, it’s probably just a run of the mill staph infection and I get to enjoy twenty days of constipation. Yay!

Speaking of painful stool, what the f@#k is the world’s obsession with Kristin Stewart? She looks, sounds, and acts like every West Side crack whore I’ve ever met. Yes, I have met a LOT of crack whores. No, that’s not where the infection came from. But, I digress, everyone seems to love this greasy haired, dead eyed, emotion free skank that evokes less feelings than Wilson. WILSON!!!!!!! I tried to find some other movies she was in and the only one I had seen was Jumper and I don’t remember her. So in a forgettable movie she got lost. Even Samuel L. Jackson sucked in that film.

Okay, I had an idea for an entertainment related second issue, but television has changed that. The Civil War was not about slavery per se. If you want to throw a blanket term over the whole affair, it would be taxation. It was voted on, by the congress that a slave would count as three fifths of a person for representation. So your Yankee superiority is shot out of the water right there. In fact, they were contemplating ending slavery in the beginning of the nation, but, decided it wasn’t the time. So, you have slavery going on for almost a hundred years because they hadn’t gotten around to ending it yet and while we have them they won’t count as a full person. The last straw was that slaves were taxed as a full person, and land taxes were raised, cotton taxes were raised along with salt. Imagine that, taxation without proper representation started a war. Strange, I know.

Man I wish I could remember what I was going to write about. It would’ve tied in with an infection and Kristin Stewart. I know it’s not a far jump; the magic would be in the third subject. But, no. I lost the thought thanks to The History Channel spewing out crap. It’s similar to the crap coming from my wound and Kristin Steward’s acting ability.

Holy s#!t, I did it!

Episode #11

On this week's episode of The Sports Narrative Podcast, Jeff and The Mick break down an exciting weekend in college and pro football, highlight the famous Heidi Bowl between the Jets and Raiders, talk James Bond and all things entertainment, preview the college basketball season and then make some horrible NFL Picks.

I. NFL Recaps

II. The Narrative - Heidi Bowl

III. College Football Round-up

IV. Entertainment Enema w/ The Mick

V. The Sports Landscape

VI. Awful NFL Picks

http://thesportsnarrative.podbean.com/mf/web/rth4ne/Podcast12.mp3

Week Ten Stink Rankings

Week Ten Stink Rankings

by Tim the Dis-Enchanter 

 

In lieu of the usual demeaning commentary, I thought I’d share some reflections on the Bills vs. Texans game from last Sunday since I was fortunate enough to see it up close and personal.

 There we were in a King Privacy room on the 26^th floor of the Hyatt Regency in downtown Houston. The city was beautiful and to my amazement, dwarfed the DFW Metroplex in size. We didn’t go to the game at Reliant Stadium under any illusions that the Bills would defeat the mighty Texans, but from our seats on the 45 yard line in the front row, we were excited to be so close to my home team. Honestly, the Bills played well. Fitzpatrick did not turn the ball over until garbage time in the last 2 minutes out of desperation. Spiller and Jackson did not see many touches, but with man-to-man match-ups on the wide-outs, I expected to see the Bills throw the ball the majority of the time. In a nutshell: not finishing drives put the game out of reach. The Bills were in the Red Zone at least 4 times and came away with 3 field goals for 9 points. The Texans were in the Red Zone 4 times and came away with 3 touchdowns for 21 points. End of story. I might have gone for it on 4^th and 1 from the 2 yard line if I were Chan, since the season is on the line and you are playing the number one team in the AFC on the road, but otherwise I did not see too much that displeased me. As usual, the Defense was good for about 3 quarters before coughing up big plays. Incidentally, Aaron Williams single-handedly cost the Bills every single one of those big plays. He was terrible – no – he was abysmal. I know that technically this is his ‘rookie’ season since he was out on injury all of last year, but come on – Williams should be getting the hang of it by now.

 Well, there were certainly no surprises from the Bills last Sunday. – Unless, of course, you count Mario Williams getting a sack and playing generally well for 60 minutes. There was one surprise in Reliant Stadium last Sunday other than Mario Williams, and that was the Texans fans. What a bunch of rude braggart assholes. We were constantly taunted in the stadium and it very nearly ruined the entire experience for us. The Cowboys fans were urbane and cordial compared to these obnoxious drunken pricks. In particular, there was one loud mouth fan that I would like to address.

 You were sitting in Section 128; right around the 7^th or 8^th row and just about in seat number 10 or so. I have no idea who you are, but at least 3 entire sections were wishing that you would die by Halftime. We listened to your vulgar, taunting screams and jeers at the Bills players and fans around you for the entire 60 minutes of the game. Not one single time did I hear you cheer for the Texans. You found it far more gratifying to scream obscenities at opposing team’s players and fans as you slowly pickled in Bud Lite. Thanks for ruining the experience you piece of dog sh*t. Every time the police officers walked by on the sidelines, I was fantasizing that they would pull out one of those old-school tasers (you know, the ones that fire the two piercing contacts into your skin) and shoot you right in the face. In my elaborate fantasy, one contact would shoot right into the meat of your eyeball, and the other contact would punch through the greenish toned skin of your cheek and sink deep into the flesh of your tongue. With both contacts set, the officer could then send a million volts into your face, cooking your eyeball like a hard-boiled egg while your mustache burst into flames and you shit your pants. For the rest of your life you’d have to walk around blind in one eye, and with a pronounced speech impediment from the nerve damage in your tongue. When anyone asked you what in the hell happened, you would reply, “I wuth an athole at a Thexans game and thum cop tathed my fathe.” Believe me, I understand why you felt so empowered to behave the way you did; there were 80,000 other people who had your back. A markedly different scenario than when you’re at work and someone says, “Hey a**hole break’s over -now let’s get the rest of this furniture in the truck!” and you have to force a smile and bite your tongue as you butt out your cigarette and go back for the rest of the dining room table. You see, I totally understand why you hate the world. It’s just a shame that you had to ruin the game-day experience for other people while you poured that rage out on the Bills players and fans. You were a black eye on an otherwise beautiful city. I can only hope that maybe someday you will either come to see what a selfish cocksucker you are, or else fall asleep with a lit cigarette. Either way, I’ll be rooting against the Texans for the rest of the season. Thank you. Now here's this week's rankings:

 

 1.) Giants NC

 

2.) Bears á2

 

3.) Packers â1  

 

4.) Texans â1

 

5.) Falcons á1   

 

6.) 69ers á1

 

7.) Patriots á1

 

8.) Seahawks  á1  

 

9.) Broncos â4

 

10.) Steelers á3

 

11.) Ravens  á1  

 

12.) Dolphins â2

 

13.) Redskins â2

 

14.) Jets â1

 

15.) Lions á1

 

16.) Vikings á2

 

17.) Cowboys â3  

 

18.) Buccaneers á1  

 

19.) Saints á6

 

20.) Cardinals NC

 

21.) Panthers á2

 

22.) Rams â1

 

23.) Bengals â1  

 

24.) Eagles â7

 

25.) Colts á2

 

26.) Chargers â2

 

27.) Raiders â1

 

28.) Titans NC

 

29.) Bills NC

 

30.) Browns NC

 

31.) Jaguars NC

 

32.) Chiefs NC